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“Casualties of War”


I think I need to do some deep watering…imediately.

I thought I would post a few pictures of all things crunchy and parched, plants that are spitting feathers and precariously hanging on to life by a twig or withered rhizome.
Some of the native hard-men in my yard are now adorning pink ballerina tutus, and rubbing moisturising cream into their leaves while sipping mint juleps and discussing sex in the city in the shade. When it is this hot, strange things happen – very worrying….oh and don’t get me started on the Summer driving virus that is in full swing – the; “I am going to cut across three lanes in front of you to make a left turn, oh and don’t look at me like that when I do it nonsense”!


Parched Loquats hanging their heads low.

Defeatist Loquats are hanging their heads as if to say “you know what, I just give up”, even large ornamental grasses are squeaking out in tiny voices “pleeese just drop a match on us, it is the humane thing to do”. You know it is Summer when you have to put on a ridiculous, makeshift wet “turban” to make the short walk past the desert carcasses down to the garden shed and back.



I nearly tripped over this one on my journey
back from the shed.

I have one container that is completely hilarious, it dosn’t seem to know if it alive or dead. One minute it is up the next it is down, it is like some mad experiment, a freak of nature.



“ahaaa. . . . It’s alive! . . . . oh wait, It’s dead . . . . oh n…..” etc.etc.



Here it is in the “down” position.
It is an annual but I have forgotten it’s name.


I really should move it out of the blistering full sun, but it is too funny, and anyway, it is so hot right now that I can’t be bothered! It would be great to do some time-lapse photography on it, but it is so hot right now I can’t be bothered! I suppose I will just keep watering it twice a day, until I forget one day and it will instantaneously self-combust into a pile of ash.

In an attempt to cool down the other day, I decided it was time to venture into my brick oven (the shed) and retrieve the old inflatable pool that was naturally stashed in the most awkward place you could mentally picture. After stepping on a few obligatory rakes, it was dragged outside (think Will Smith dragging the alien in the movie Independance Day) and hosed off. (Ratatouille had been there . . see: http://east-side-patch.livejournal.com/5862.html!)



hehehe                      “Why… you little”!
My wife and I started the laborious process of blowing it up manually in the 100 degree heat.
It quickly became apparent that all was not well with the inflatable pool. Ratatouille had been a very busy fellow indeed, he had personally consumed a section of it!


Did the “wiggly wat” eat the pool? does that mean we can’t get in the pool? Waaaaa!



… pure craftsmanship
A few patches of strategically placed duct tape later and we were back in business. An hour of huffing and three “cold turbans” later (sounds like a new beer brand?), and we had a pool that resembled something from an episode from the Beverly Hillbillies, but hey, it was an azure oasis to me and a couple of other hot heads.


– aaaahhh!!!

Other summer casualties groaning and moaning right now:


Hoja Santa is always overtly dramatic, a true “hydro”condriac.
You are not fooling me, I know you will bounce right back up
when the sun goes down.



Well perhaps this one is not bluffing!


A crusty Banana                                                       …… and this Basil plant needs an IV


And this corpse of a plant I can’t even identify.

Other Worrisome things happening right now:
Remember in my previous blog I saw some bricks elevating on my rear patio near my Giant Timber Bamboo, and how feared the worse?
I was right . . .


wait what is this?


I removed a couple of bricks and there she was! yup, my Timber has jumped ship. I have decided to let it grow, then go back in and redo the brickwork later, you never know it may even look kind of cool emerging out of the patio brickwork!


Three new culms, and they are going to be big ones!


Stay Tuned for:

“The Devil’s in the Details”


All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by  late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


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